Hot sexy moms playing music! This was the response I got
from founding-Flim Annie Dru when I inquired into her preferred direction for
this article. "Well at least it'll be less mentally taxing than my last cover
story on Will Edwards!" I joked... As usual I was wrong. The Flimz (remove the
'z' and spell it backwards... no, really, just do it. I'll wait) are a force to
be reckoned with. They are hot Mom's and they do play music; I'd comment on the
sexy part if their respective husbands and six sons between them weren't either
already or destined to be bigger than I. In all honesty though, these were the
least of my concerns.
Even though
I know she was speaking in jest, I have a very hard time believing that anyone
involved in any kind of creative process could be as shallow as the opening
quote suggests. You see, when it comes to definition, men are usually pretty
easy: their feelings are linear, their intentions are generally hard to
misinterpret, their ambitions and achievements are dominated by logic and
pragmatism, sometimes to a fault. Men are a living process, the routine of
human beings. I wish to God I had a better analogy, but women on the other hand
are like onions. Aside from the obvious retort (anything to do with tears?)
they have a vast number of layers. Each of these layers may only be discovered
depending on the level of comfort achieved in any given moment, balanced by the
accrued trust over time. Revocation of these access privileges is a constantly
reserved right by the provider. Bring Motherhood into the equation and you've
got a whole new level of intuitive and instinctive prowess that when fueled
with experience - try as they may - men will never truly understand. Armed with
this knowledge, the intelligent approach would have been to have simply written
a two-thousand word fluff piece on hot sexy mom's playing music... but no,
[clears throat] someone had to try and be all clever and creative.
You see, the key to a seat in the Flimdom of Heaven is that
you should consider the music of the Flimz as you would a beautiful, mature,
and intelligent woman: their sound is their looks and their words transverse
the space between their hearts and minds. They may sound like a fairground
carousel crossed with a naughty duet recital at the local convent's annual
music competition, however - like the onion analogy - if you take the time and
look deeper and really listen to the messages behind the words, you'll discover
a world of purely female and maternal wisdom. Having spent so much time with
them in the last few weeks, I'm going to do my best to conclude this thought as
Amy Mayer possibly would, "We're not publishing Cliff Notes here, boys! You
ain't been easy and we're done being all soft! So run along and listen to our
stuff! Invest a little time and ye shall be rewarded!"
That sounds
about right.
I walked
into my first Flimz rehearsal about an hour late to find Annie Dru (the
straight-(wo)man of the group) cradling her guitar, swaying back and forth in a
rocking chair. Amy Mayer (the other one), coyly postured on a couch-bed, and
Annie's husband, Kevin, sitting comfortably with his arms laid on each side of
a big chair. I took a moment to take in the scene; it was incredibly welcoming
and quite serene. Both girls were nursing a bottle of Anchor Steam beer and
working through their new Sarah Palin-inspired song. After a solid run-through,
they sit quietly as Kevin played me the recorded version they'd filmed a video
for on Sunday. They laugh, make a few jokes, then carry on. They start into
another song, then for some reason stop and move on to another after a few
musical hiccups during a bridge harmony. When I inquire about the unfinished
song after a few minutes of realizing they really weren't coming back to it,
Annie hushes me as they proceed into "In My Mind" and completely derail that
train as they approach the first chorus. A little later on, Annie eases my mind
by addressing the issue that I find most odd, considering this is supposed to
be "practice." "You have to understand the way the Flimz work. If we're
screwing up a song, we just move on." Quite content in her support, Amy
breezily adds, "It'll come back to us." I imagine that years of ever-forward
momentum in the trial and error of parenthood probably influenced this process
greatly.
As far as
the Flimz' off-stage persona goes, Annie, for the most part, appears to run the
show during interviews and rehearsals, with the demeanor of a class president
who knows she doesn't really wield the overriding power of a teacher but does
her best to hold everything together none the less. Amy most certainly appears
to be the class clown (just ask her to fashion some impromptu white-girl beats
for you sometime) until you touch on a subject for which she truly cares and
wants to connect over. Both women possess this depth in sensitivity, which once
again has likely been learned from their combined years as wives and mothers.
The loveliest part of my Flimz rehearsal experience was that without the lights
and the outfits and the props, they are just one guitar and two voices... and
it still works.
A few days
prior to the rehearsal, I'd taken the opportunity to sit down with the Flimz
for a more focused conversation. Despite their relatively short 18-month tenure
as a group, the Flimz already appeared to be demonstrating the traits of an old
married couple, a point that I brought to their attention...
"I think
that's true," Annie shares. There's a very deep and abiding respect and appreciation
on both sides. I've always felt as though Amy got me. From the moment she came
and sat next to me at one of our son's water polo games, she came across as a
person who didn't come with any pre-conceived ideas; her spirit was very open
and very willing to take me in unconditionally. That's not necessarily typical
of the suburban sport-mom environment. Like any social group or community,
there's a lot of posing that goes on; there's a lot of disingenuous
conversation and behavior that happens. When Amy came and sat next to me it was
very clear that she'd seen some life and was interested in knowing my story. I
had an instant sense of someone I could really be myself with who is really
open to finding out who I am and appreciating me for who I am. It's been that
way through the years I have known her."
It's almost
like an underlying theme of the Flimz: they've built upon a mutual respect and
compassion about where they have both been and what they've experienced. It's
also been important in drawing out the feelings and emotions that are truly
important to them, too. I don't know many artists who are able to maintain a
family, a healthy relationship, AND still express themselves in the ways in
which they're best at... I still believe it's the juggling Mom assets that they
apply to make it all work so well.
"Women can
be very self-judgmental, through which they're generally very hard on
themselves and each other. Once you start down that path, it immediately starts
being projected. The community I spoke of is a very hard place to find true
acceptance and I think that most women walk around with a mask on because of
the unforgiving guilt we place on ourselves as wives and mothers. We feel as
though we haven't done it well enough and we've let people down in part due to
the perfect mother image that you inherit as a young girl. You start with this
ideal of the type of woman that you're going to be, but when you get down to
the nitty-gritty, you're thrown into the fire and have no choice other than to
simply start doing the best you can. You make a lot of mistakes and that's
endemic to motherhood. Where Amy and I grew up [Missouri and Iowa
respectively], that was the expectation, but it was important to me. I had a
very strong mothering instinct, but I also believe this is partially a
Midwestern thing. I knew from the time I was four or five years old that I
wanted to be a mommy. I wanted to have a family and wanted to do it perfectly.
I think - and a lot of women feel this way - end up falling short of their own
goal and then they take it out on each other. It's harsh and unforgiving when
you'd have thought there'd be a lot of empathy there."
"For me, I
felt I was very blessed living in Los Angeles," Amy says. "I never really
entertained friends from the acting world because I felt they were some of the
most messed up people I'd ever met. I had one friend who was, however, very
real to me; another Midwestern girl who learned early on as I did that you
should never compete with anyone else, only compete with yourself. As a result
of this philosophy, I met a group of women who were so completely competent
that they didn't need to project out in this manner - they were real and they
were interesting. My husband said something to me regarding this, which I felt
to be very insightful, 'I've noticed confident women like you, insecure women
don't.' He was right, I met a woman once and he said, 'Yeah, yeah. Casually
date that one, don't go steady.' He was right! She turned out to be someone who
was not okay with me having other friends and doing all the things I do. That's
where I've learned to find people like Annie who are completely accepting of
who I am. I've made the point a number of times that I'm not away from home any
more than my neighbor who's the PTA president, as well as a book and a quilting
club member. Even though she's gone just as much from her family as I am doing
theatre or singing in a band or doing rehearsals, it appears more palatable
because the options are more in line with what's generally acceptable forms of
behavior."
Annie
continues, "Basically, we have a deep and abiding respect for each other, our
gifts and our desire to pursue them. Amy's so talented and I feel it'd be an
absolute crime if she didn't manifest that. I'm sure she feels the same way
about me and I believe this creates a little safety space for us. When I feel
like quitting because of the guilt, she pulls me back in. If she feels like
quitting, I pull her back. The way our voices work together is the analogy for
the way our spirits work together: we work in harmony. We truly do become more
than the sum of our parts together and it's only because we bring out in each
other the areas we may be a little hesitant to manifest. Be that person you
want to be. When you finally get past the social stigma attached, with all of
these build-up emotions over the years, it's a very liberating experience. We
have a built-in audience for ourselves in each other so we could literally sit
in our kitchen and do it all day long. We get together and play music because
it just feels right.
My final
question involved any misconceptions about the Flimz, which they'd like to
adjust or set straight for the record. It was more of a courtesy, but I was
surprised when their individual responses both capped this discussion and let
so nicely into the rest of the article.
"I do get
concerned about this certain tendency people have to construe us as
'man-haters'; it's the only area where I feel misunderstood," Annie says. "It's
funny to me because a lot of the songs I have written have come from the the
fact that I've been married twice and have four sons: I've watched their
reality from a pretty close perspective growing up and experiencing everything
that you need to go through, so I have an empathy for the male plight, which I
feel compelled to write about in my songs. I feel like I want to say to men, 'I
get it! I feel it! I feel for you, I can see how challenging it is to be a man,
I can see the misunderstandings between the sexes, I get the disconnect and I want
to try and honor that compassion.'"
Amy's point
was even more succinct. "I've always felt like there are no victims unless you
make yourself a victim, so even for women, if we don't like this, move on and
change - do something different - we're just talking about our experiences,
that's all."
The
Boyz
It's easy for anyone to sit down in front of you and tell
you how great they are, how much they've achieved or how important their ideas
are; it's another thing entirely to sit, watch, and listen to how that person
has shaped another life. The latter is way harder to fake. During the Talkz -
and not just because they are proud moms - Annie and Amy drew many parallels
between themselves and two of their sons, Harry (Annie's youngest) and Cole
(Amy's eldest). Annie suggested interviewing the two boys for this story, an
idea that I initially rejected before seeing its symbiotic beauty. I then spent
the next three days re-convincing them of the idea. A few days after that, I
sat down with Harry and Cole.
Coming from
the European culture over a decade ago, I've become somewhat used to the
lowered expectations in Californian teenagers. I'm generalizing a little,
however this is not meant to be a condescending slight; it's mainly due to less
legal responsibility over many social issues and a raised age of understood
adulthood. In total contrast to my pre-conceived notions, I walked away from my
conversation with Harry and Cole very pleasantly surprised. This interview
turned out to be more than an hour-long conversation that I thoroughly enjoyed.
What I witnessed were two extremely well put together young men who, to possess
such clarity, insight, and strength in their beliefs at such a young age was as
refreshing as it was surprising. Whatever the structure of their mothers'
caregiving, Harry and Cole are a living testament to its success and a credit
to their parents. Following is a sampling of our conversation.
RE: Their moms'
extracurricular activities.
Harry: Well, my mom's been actively involved in music since
I was about nine; she manages to keep on top of being a mom AND a musician,
which is really cool in my opinion. It's something she really likes to do; it's
her passion, so I feel really good about it for her - it's not like I feel that
it really cuts into anything she's "meant to do" as far as my brothers and I
are concerned.
RE: How this example
and their mom's efforts have influenced them.
Cole: Watching my mom outside of simply being a mom has been
a really great experience. I've seen what she's done - what's worked and what
hasn't. Watching her succeed is awesome but watching her fall down has been an
even better education. She's taught me that success is all a question of
getting back up and going in a better direction.
RE: The Flimz' shared
fear that they're being continually judged negatively as mothers by playing
music.
Cole: No one cares! No one cares at all! They're just being
women in that they've got to have something to stress out about. Everyone
supports them; there's just got to be something, you know?
RE: The Flimz musical
content.
Harry: I gained a really unique perspective on my mom's life
with her last solo record, which was very much about her; her relationship and
her relationship with my brothers and me. It had little to do with anyone else.
The Flimz feel a lot more light-hearted to me, even if they're tackling some
sticky issues, such as their new Sarah Palin parody, which I felt very involved
in, having spent a whole day together looking up quotes and facts to help with
the song. I really enjoyed that interaction.
RE: Feedback from
their friends
Harry: I think they appeal to a much older crowd.
Cole: A lot of my friends think its more fun to laugh about
how hot our moms are.
Harry: I get that a lot too.
Cole: I don't even respond to that anymore; I'm desensitized
to the whole subject. I mean, their name? C'mon.
Harry: Exactly.
RE: The importance of
their male role models
Harry: I think there's both balance and contrast as far as
my dad's concerned. My mom's always been fun-loving and kinda crazy -
definitely out there - whereas my dad's always been very reserved. He's really
smart and he always kept everything in check, especially if we got a little too
out of hand. I've always called my mom a hippy, whereas my dad's always been the
guy who put a suit and a tie on for work. For their individual natures, I
respect them both equally.
Cole: My Dad for me was a huge rock. My mom and I are very
similar and although I love her to death, we will butt heads hard core. Nobody
could ever argue that he was The referee of the house, the first one to be
called when anything was even getting slightly contentious? That was him. He's
so much the gentle giant - a huge guy who wouldn't hurt a fly - really nice,
cool... I don't know, I love my dad. He's awesome.
RE: Being unpaid
roadies for the Flimz
Harry: My mom's very devoted to her music; she's just not
that devoted to carrying her own equipment.
Cole: It's not even a courteous request; it's more like,
"Hey, I'm leaving in five and I want ALL this in my car!" I do not remember
signing up for this! We should be talking to a union.
RE: Annie's healthful
tendencies...
Harry: One thing about my mom is that she's a really big
health nut.
Cole: She's SUCH a health nut!
Harry: She's really sly about it though. She'll sneak cod
liver oil in here and feed you stuff there... She'll say, "Here, try this
Kombucha, it's good for you." So I'll try it, then spit it out because it's
disgusting!
Cole: (mocking Annie) "You're going to regret not drinking
this..."
The
Bioz
Annie Dru
On the occasion of her birth, Annie Dru's father gave her
mother a beautiful RCA console hi-fi stereo, which received constant use during
their daughter's formative years. After-school activities would usually find
young Annie with her ear up against the speaker and a finger on the red "on"
light, listening to her parents record collection and the sole album she
possessed (by the Partridge Family); she says it was all she remembers wanting
to do. Her high school years were spent blaring the radio in her Honda Civic or
lying on her bedroom floor - headphones on - listening to a variety of popular
music, including the Scorpions, Rush, the Cars, the Knack, and Heart. She
recalls spending every penny of her babysitting money during this time,
indulging her passion with new eight-track tapes or concert tickets. In her own
words, the introduction to Steely Dan and Bob Marley during her college years
provided life-changing experiences. However, almost as a period in this
formative musical cycle, it was also during this time that her parents sold the
old RCA in a garage sale. Married straight out of college, Dru raised four
children to her husband's smooth jazz collection on that new-fangled CD player
technology.
Aside from
the baritone horn compromise in fifth grade band (because all of the flute
seats were taken), the high school musical composition class (which garnered an
honorable mention in a statewide young composer competition) and landing the
lead roll in the eighth grade school musical "Babes in Toyland," Annie Dru's
endeavors in music didn't truly begin until she was newly divorced and 33 years
old. Influenced to take up the fiddle by her employer at the time, she began
frequenting Clairemont Mesa's infamous Blarney Stone Irish music jams. It was
at one such evening that she would meet her future (and current) husband, Kevin
Allshouse. A few years into their marriage Annie and Kevin formed Kitchenfire,
an American-Celtic ensemble, with a couple of friends from the Irish session
community whose versatility allowed for a great number of different performing
situations - from pubs to weddings and festivals to wakes. As their run of the
circuit slowed and Kitchenfire all but disbanded, Annie wrote her first song
four months before her fortieth birthday and followed this achievement by
releasing her first album three months later.
Within
another six months Annie was regularly commuting between San Diego and
Nashville, which continued over the next nine months until her brush with Music
Row publishing failed to yield anything substantial toward her ongoing success.
Recording a second album and signing a second publishing deal, this time back
home in California, produced similar results and left her questioning her
efforts until she met Amy Mayer at a water polo game that their sons were
competing in. Shortly thereafter the
duo begun singing together and the Flimz released their debut CD less than a
year later in November 2007.
Amy Mayer
Having tried out for the cheerleading team in high school and
being laughed off stage, rather than feeling the obvious shame and despair most
of us would succumb to, Missouri-native Amy Mayer took heart in the
ridiculously positive outlook that she really enjoyed making people laugh.
Having applied the full focus of her new-found energy into high school theater,
she was honored by a full scholarship in Theatre Studies to Missouri State
University. Once graduated, the wide-eyed Midwesterner was classically lured to
L.A. by an agent where she got a waitressing job and, after one year, proceeded
to get bored. Apparently Tibet sounded appealing at the time, so Mayer set off
backpacking around the world for a year with the man who would become her
husband.
Upon their
return to Los Angeles, Mayer worked for ten years as an actress/waitress/script
supervisor/party character/agent/Tecate Girls handler and several other jobs
she apparently doesn't like to think about. She and her husband had three
children before moving south to San Diego in order to take care of her husband's
mother until her passing. Her maternal in-law was apparently very much like
Tony Soprano's Italian mother on the HBO original series, which may have
something to do with Mayer's tryouts for "Thailand Survivor" to get away for
awhile. Her escape plans were quashed however as she was a card carrying,
unemployed member of both acting unions.
After a
Shakespearean stint with a group called Poor Players and some musical
understudying at the La Jolla Playhouse, Mayer once again found herself staring
into the despair of boredom. This time she decided to create her own playbook
by created "Miss Shirley" (www.shirleykids.com), which was billed as "a great assembly presentation for preschool
through fifth grade, helping children find their way in today's world." Mayer's
Miss Shirley character visited schools singing songs with Christopher Dale, who
introduced her to Jeff Berkley who in turn produced her in-character CD Miss
Shirley Sees Greatness in You. The natural extension of this song and stage
performance was the pitching of the concept as a television show to a producer
in L.A. who was interested enough to get on board with the project. Mayer
continued to write 13 episodes and a book with her writing partner, George
Blum. The pair produced a DVD of the stage show, which was filmed on the
Clairemont High School stage in August 2006. Annie Dru came in as the character
"Miss Daisy." This would technically be their first song together.
Unfortunately, the producer, who had once seemed so keen, dropped Miss Shirley
for another venture completely outside of the industry, and the television show
failed to get picked up by a studio. Tired and dejected, Mayer decided to quit
all things creative until she attended one of Annie's performances at Lestat's
in January 2007. Upon suggesting some harmony ideas and harboring the secret
knowledge that she's always wanted to say she was in a band, the Flimz were
born.
The
Vidz
Seeing as both Flimz are limited in their ability to take
their act beyond county lines for long periods of time, a recurring theme
during our conversations was how music videos - supported by ever-developing
online tools - were becoming the best medium to convey their message. Rather
than sending you off, ill-prepared into the Googlesphere with a few vague search
words, we've compiled a list of some of their current online highlights, enjoy!
"Palin's VPilf Blues"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mEMClPAc0s
"If I'm Not Working"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WIM2rJSqUA
"In My Mind"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=881hsvqe-wU
"Everybody Wonders"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hSHP2XGrvI
The
Politicz/Authorz Note/Op-Ed
By the time this article goes to print, we'll be mere days
away from a presidential election. In fact, depending on when you read this, we
already have a new president-elect. It's a time of both exciting and scary
choices. I'd be more than happy for you to disagree with me that the Republican
presidential nominee's choice of running mate fell into the latter category; in
my amateur opinion, however, it did. I thought all of my Christmases had come
early when I discovered the Flimz had rushed together one of their trademark
musical/theatrical parodies in honor of everyone's favorite Alaskan hockey mom.
I mean, seriously? We're going to press four-days before an election and a
group we've had scheduled six months in advance for a cover just happens to
have picked a personal battle with one of the most adaptable media targets
since Paris Hilton? What could possibly be better? I spent the next five days
with little sleep trying to focus around the topically obvious and steer away
from "inflammatory edgy writing" I'm apparently known for, and the American
public otherwise seems so greedy for in their daily media diet. For all intents
and purposes the much smaller, more mature side of me understands the paper's
position, however basing the article upon this topic and stirring the obvious
ire it would receive would have been far more fun for me and my megalomaniac
wordsmith tendencies. That said, I would have considered it to be not only a
journalistic failing, but a personal compromise to not bring the subject of
this parody and it's resulting achievement to light for a little extra
exposure. If you have any thoughts or comments about this topic, my opinions,
or my writing in general, please disengage the Troubadour and its production
staff from any correspondence and email me personally through tim@timmudd.com.
I will respond to each with great fervor. With all of THAT said...
Sarah Palin
has been well-documented in her view that she would never support abortion even
in the instance of her own daughter being raped. Conversely, she's supported
the Bush administrations troop surge since the beginning of our involvement in
Iraq (although she has gently backed from this position during her time as
governor). For her part, the Flimz' Amy Mayer had this to say, "My fetus is 17
years-old and I don't want him going to war." No matter which way you swing it,
she has a point as a mother and one which I felt was too important to leave
behind. Whether it ends up being a little piece of nostalgic media history or a
scary reminder of a reality we may all be forced to commiserate over, visit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mEMClPAc0s to see the Flimz latest step toward
infamy.
T.M.