I Think,
Therefore I think too Much
I've been unemployed for
eight months now. That's given me a lot of time to think...
1. Things move slowly in the
modern corporate broadcasting world. For example, in January I sent a demo CD
and my resume to a station in Chicago. In early May they called and told me I
was one of five people they were considering for the job. On June 16 they
informed me that no decision has yet been made. Why does it take almost six
months to not-make-up-your-mind-yet? They probably have to go through layers of
bureaucracy just to get some Bic pens in the house.
2. I applied for a couple of
jobs as a writer. When I showed them my portfolio of Troubadour articles, they
laughed and threw them in my face.
3. I have a part-time 'job'
on KSDS, Jazz 88.3. It doesn't pay but it sure is fun (kind of like writing for
the Troubadour). I am on the air every Thursday afternoon from noon to 3pm.
Being there has rekindled my interest in jazz, a musical style I hadn't paid
much attention to since the early 1970s. It also allows me to keep my chops up
until one of our corporate commercial broadcasters wakes up and brings me back
into the industry I've been in and loved since I was 18.
4. Lou Curtiss recently did
a piece about the 100 greatest songs Ð ever. I actually knew a few of them. But
he forgot to mention the following:
'Elvis
is Everywhere' by Mojo Nixon (Elvis is now a religion.)
'Baby's
Liquored Up' by the Beat Farmers (Country Dick Montana at his finest.)
'It's
a Gas' by Alfred E. Neuman (nice groove, great belches...from Mad magazine,
circa 1965)
'My
Pal Foot Foot' by the Shaggs (a song so unrelentingly awful that it's great! It
must be heard to be believed!)
'To
Sir, with a Whole Lotta Love Boat' by Jose Sinatra (the pinnacle of lounge
metal)
'I'm
Filled with that Empty Feeling' unknown singer (from the LP Popular Songs for
Unpopular People)
Wait!
This looks like a playlist from Dr. Demento, doesn't it? It's just too hard for
me to take this kind of thing seriously. Never mind. Kudos to Uncle Lou,
though. He is really passionate about his music!
5. My wife is the 8th Wonder
of the World. When she's not berating me for still not having a real job, she
likes me just the way I am...like Mr. Rogers used to tell me on the TV...when I
was 30.
6. Why is it that, in TV documentaries
about big things like ocean liners, ancient wonders, and dirigibles, the
writers always use some ludicrous comparison of scale to illustrate just how
immense something is? They always seem to use football fields and the Statue of
Liberty as analogies. 'This ship is longer than four football fields and taller
than two Statues of Liberty,' intones the narrator. Why not try more exotic
comparisons, such as 'The Hindenburg was longer than nine million eraserless
no. 2 pencils set end-to-end' or 'The Collossus of Rhodes was taller than
600,000 flattened catcher's mitts?'
7. Uh, I forget...
I
wish you a wonderful July.